I feel like I’m lost. I’m a complete contrast to who I once was and that makes me feel sad and even more lost.
My body seems to be moving into its perimenopausal phase, which is actually quite difficult to explain because lots of the symptoms are similar to that of my PCOS.
But the one symptom that makes me sadder than any is losing my sex drive but I’m not entirely sure that I have. It’s more that everything is now sore. They say vaginal dryness is a thing but that’s not actually what this is, I’m not dry just sore. Yes I use more lube than in the past but that doesn’t make any different to the soreness. This week I went for my smear and for the first time ever it was beyond sore and bordering on painful, a new experience for me.
Clearly this means sex is just more tricky. If things aren’t comfortable then I’m less likely to want sex. And when I do it needs to be far more gentle, which is again a contrast to the kind of sex I like. I need hard and fast so not being able to have that type of sex is frustrating to say the least. Clearly any type is good for connection but I want my brain fucked too, to really get off on it.
I have spoken to a few doctors at my surgery over the past year but each have said the same thing. I’m not in my fifties and I still have periods so there’s nothing that can be done at this stage, other than providing antidepressants. That is NOT going to happen. I’m not depressed, just sad that I’m not who I was and a big part of my life is now missing.
I’m unsure if a sex blogger who can’t have sex is a contrast or a conundrum. But essentially that’s a big part of why I hardly post any more. I just have nothing sexy to say when I don’t feel sexy.
MariaSibylla
I’m so sorry to hear you’re feeling not yourself and I hope you’ll be able to find a good solution, it seems like it’s hard to keep up sometimes with our changing bodies, and dismissive Drs don’t help at all. This photo is absolutely stunning!
Pointy
Thank you so much for writing this. Same problems here and it looks like we aren’t alone, we just feel as though we are because this is so rarely talked about. 44 and on the patch which has helped a lot with soreness and sex drive. It will get better and you won’t look back. xx
JerBear
Bee, I’m so sorry. I wouldn’t have guessed since your images continue to be so hyper sexual and compelling.
Thanks for hanging in there and for sharing.
Focused and Filthy
I’m really sorry to hear you are having such problems. I’m 45. I went to my GP as my sex drive had dropped and I was very sore. Even just exercise let alone sex and wouldn’t allow even fingers touching me without lube. First appt got prescribed some vaginal oestrogen cream and it’s been a game changer. Once a day for three weeks and now just twice a week. Almost back to normal. Our sex life has improved and I feel so much better (also on HRT patches too). Don’t take the first persons word for it. Go and ask again. Hopefully things will improve and get better for you x
Julie
I’m really sorry Bee. I had lots of problems of this nature at the beginning of my menopause. The attitude of the GPs sucks, I wonder if there is anyone else you could contact to help. Meantime I’m sending love and support to you xxx
Molly
I would absolutely go back and ask for a blood test and also ask for some oestrogen pessaries. I had exactly the same thing, just sore, and the pessaries have totally cleared it up. I only use one a week now it’s better and that seems to be enough to keep things happy.
Also if your doctor won’t play ball then I would suggest going to Dr Louise Newsoms private clinic. You can have an hour long consultation online and a few friends of mine has said it was the best 300 quid they spent. She then wrote to the GP who then prescribed the right things.
Hope that helps a little bit but I totally get it. It is distressing and difficult especially when you have to fight for the help.
Mollly
Happycomelucky
I’m sending you all my love and care. This is so hard. I hope there is support available. Love and support from another broken person.