I’ve never enjoyed pet names in a relationship. If someone calls be babe, or worse, babes *shudder* I’m not going to be in the best of moods, it just leaves me cold. There are times my partner and I will wind each other up by calling each other schnookums or hunni-bun, these are always used in jest with a hint of sarcasm! We do however, put a little twist in each other’s real name but more on that later.
When we moved into the world of D/s we toyed with a few different names for our roles. We started in the most obvious place and I referred to him as Sir. It worked for a short times as we found our natural balance but it didn’t last that long. It’s not something that naturally trips off my tongue. I did continue using the term when I referred to him on my blog for a while but even that’s become a rarity now.
Then we played with the idea of me being a little. Whilst I do have elements of that, the terms little and Daddy were something neither of us were comfortable with at all. For a short time he went with being my Big, I think his Twitter bio still uses that name.
Now, we just use each other’s name. As I mentioned previously we twist each others names. Bee comes from the twist he put on my name. It also makes me feel all warm and fuzzy when he calls me Bee, I feel loved and cherished. Not like when he calls me his slut or tells me what a whore I am when he pins me down and fucks me hard, although I love those names just as much.
I’m not going to reveal what I call him because it will give away his real name. Whilst he doesn’t hide his name, if you meet him in real life he will introduce himself by it and he does sign off on-line profiles with it, I don’t feel it’s my place to reveal it.
However, he does go by two wonderful nicknames too and they have both come from the same crazy couple. Molly didn’t really know what to call him when referring to him, he isn’t her Sir and she didn’t want to use his real name so he was called Him Indoors, it made Molly and I giggle so much that we continue to call him that now, even if Him Indoors rolls his eyes every time we do.
But my favourite has to come from the time we first met Molly and Michael, we introduced ourselves by our real names, this blog didn’t exist then. The second time we met them Michael managed to get his name wrong and called him Mark. Michael being Michael decided to keep going and there are many people out there now, about five years later, who still don’t realise Mark isn’t his real name!
Kayla Lords
This just proves what we all know which is that names and titles don’t make the relationship. But those little inside jokes are often the best part of it all. JB and I have a few of our own and they give us the giggles all the time. 😊
Cara Thereon
Sorry, your story about Michael calling him not by his name cracks me up. Very typical of him. I like your explanation of your titles. I’m finding that the title is just the feeling it inspires in us when we use it. For most of us, it seems to be that warm/safe feeling that equates to our Dom of choice. There’s something delightful about that.
Molly
I LOVE that we both get a mention in this post. I do rather like ‘him indoors’ but Michael’s continuation of Mark for all those years really is just epic
Mollyx
Mrs Fever
Along the lines of Michael getting “Mark’s” name wrong and running with it…
My ex was in the military, and the guys in his unit got his name ridiculously wrong (no clue where it morphed from), and they all got so used to calling him by that wrong name, that when I would try to contact him they never knew who I was talking about. Eventually, through a long drawn-out explanation (every time!), someone would _finally_ see the light dawn and be like, “OH. You mean Bill!”
HIS NAME IS NOT BILL!!!!!
!!!!!
*forehead thwap*
A n y w a y
Like you, I’m into calling people by their actual names, and expect the same in return.
I do have a tendency toward nicknaming though, which is my own sort of pet name thing I guess. I do it in platonic and familial relationships too, not just romantic/sexual ones. But my nicknames for people are very specifically MINE (think: highly personalized, as opposed to ‘hon’ or ‘babe’), and tend to develop from either (1) an event/interest we share, or (2) a characteristic/trait specific to our relationship.