There is a strange juxtaposition between images of myself and my exhibitionist nature. In some ways they go together hand in hand. Yet there are also times they are at odds with each other.
The reason I started my blog was so I could fly my exhibitionist flag high, in a safe way. I don’t want anyone to see me who doesn’t consent to seeing me. Having those images on my blog mean only those who want to view my blog get to see me. It’s given me lots of opportunity to explore who I am, seeing myself through the eyes of my partner.
You see, I cannot take my own images. Firstly, I lack the ability to work a camera. I got so much praise for the cleverness of this image, looking at myself in the image and yet my partners hands on the camera. Except it wasn’t like that at all. I spent so long in front of the mirror not being able to take an image that didn’t have my face in or wasn’t blurred. In the end my partner grabbed the camera off me and took this quick snap before I had a meltdown!
I explained in the post how I was taking on a 365 project, and I did. I completed that project and by the time July had arrived I couldn’t wait for it to be over. Some of that was finding the time to edit seven images a week but mostly because I just lack the skill I need for photography. Yes, you can learn the technical skill but what I lack is the eye for a good image. I have no idea what makes an image good or bad. Framing is a dark art to me!
However, I’ve really struggled over the past year with images of me. That’s nothing to do with the photography itself, my photographer and editor is fucking amazing and I’d be lost without him. It has everything to do with not liking the body I have. I never been a big fan of it but now more than ever I can’t understand why someone else would want to see it.
My partner does have a bit of a thing for close up images, this helps in some ways as only a small part of me is usually in the image. But the down side to that is I also don’t always get the bigger picture of how some rope work or needleplay looks.
I do find my images far more palatable when they don’t have my face in them though. So it is a good job I’m anonymous so I don’t post images of that anyway! Even if I’m taking images to send to friends and partners, I will often take them without my face in it because it makes the image far better.
I want to rediscover that love of being an exhibitionist, to find a way of reconciling that I don’t need to be glamorous in uncomfortable lingerie for someone to appreciate me and my body. How to make those changes, I don’t know yet but I need to find a way.
Simina
First, that is a cool-ass shot. And I totally get this. I take most of my pics myself and since I can’t get everything out of the shot I need to, I make liberal use of cropping and filters.
Molly
I hope you the connection and embrace your amazing sexy glorious self that we all see
Molly
Gemma Jones
I also struggle looking at images of myself. I am hoping that participating in Sinful Sunday will help me to be more comfortable with myself.
Muse
This is a beautifully clever image and hope you re-discover your joy x
Modesty Ablaze
It is a very clever, very intriguing … and very sexy … photo.
I don’t have the patience for trying to take photographs … and Hubby says he just prefers to point-and-click in case he misses something!!!
So I think we’re just resigned to enjoying and admiring the images you, and others, always post here at Sinful.
Xxx – K
HappyComeLucky
You know that I am a big fan of enjoying pictures of you from all angles, both close up and all of you. I’m very happy to support igniting your exhibitionist joy. If you want, you can share more pictures with me and I will give detailed feedback on all of the joy in them.