A view of myself

Bee on hands and knees, wearing a collar and leash, drinking water from a dog bowl

You may think that because I post images of myself online that I enjoy a bit of self voyeurism. If that’s what you think, then you are mistaken. I love others viewing me and I’m definitely a exhibitionist and I’m a voyeur of others. But myself…nah!

I take videos of myself to send to others and I view them (without sound) to make sure they captured what I intended them to but they don’t make me feel anything as I dissociate from them. The same is true for images I take and share. I can appreciate a good image but quite often that stems from the memories associated with them.

I never watch myself in a mirror, either fucking or wanking. Often that’s down to not wearing my glasses for fear of breaking them. But also, I don’t see myself fucking as hot. I would focus on my partner instead, watching how their back looks, or the way their hips are thrusting but seeing myself would put me off.

However, there was an experience I had recently which changed that a little. I was led on a collar and leash to a bowl of water and told to drink. It was something I’ve never done in the past so I had no idea how I’d really feel about it. But also, the bowl was stainless steel which meant it was completely reflective, there was no escaping what I was being made to do. If I wanted to see where the water was I had to keep my eyes open, I had to watch myself to see myself being humiliated. And fuck, that was so hot!

Will that experience change how I feel, I doubt it but it’s opened my eyes up to a new view of myself.

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