What a month is has been. The world as we know it has exploded and people have really shown their true colours. I always thought that the sex blogging community was a positive, encouraging, inclusive and safe space. Well it seems its not what I thought it was. I am hopeful that now those who hold such awful transphobic and cisheteronormative views have shown themselves we can rebuild into the community I thought it was.
This is going to be a bit of a bumper edition because so many good posts have been written on the subject. I mostly kept quiet because I need time to process my thoughts and find the words to express myself by which time everybody has written what I wanted to say so felt it pointless adding my voice to what had already been said.
This months fabulous writing
The Discrimination Problem with Rebel’s Notes’ Smut Marathon by MxNillin
If you don’t know what has been going on over the past month or so, although its actually been going on for far longer than that, then this is the place to start. I envy MxNillin’s ability to speak out and stand up for themselves and everyone else that identifies as trans and non-binary. Whilst I know this all stems from a place of anger and fear, which is dreadful in 2020, it has also given them the strength to support many others and for that I can only applaud them.
I do not have to be nice to people who misgender me by Quinn Rhodes
I know its very easy to misgender people, we’ve all stumbled and made mistakes because we live in a cisheteronormative world and we make assumtions about people. However, there is a huge difference in tripping over ourselves once and apologising and continually misgendering someone. Quinn, once again, blew me away, as someone who has only recently come out as trans ze has had more to deal with than most right now. Listen the hir words, learn from them. Being trans isn’t simply about gender, its about living in a world that is actively dangerous. Imagine living in fear day in day out, most of us just can’t comprehend that but then imagine how it feels to find out your ‘supportive’ community is also attacking you.
These moments are aways bigger than we think we are by Kayla Lords
Once again Kayla says everything I want to say but so much better! I’m also hold so much priviledge so it can be difficult to speak up in the right way. Conflict always scares me due to childhood traumas but why should I hide behind that when people are facing things far worse than I’ve had to deal with. I have also picked sides, I’ve picked a side that will not stand for people being abused and spoken about in derogatory ways, I’ve picked a side that wants everyone to be included. We are all human beings, we all deserve to be treated with respect.
Not speaking up against hurtful behaviour is not an option by Isabelle Lauren
I hold my hands up, I have been a nice white lady. I go through life not intending to hurt people and yet my behaviour can do exactly that. We all make mistakes but we all should learn from that too. I’ve stuck by friends in the hope they’ll change for too long and I know thats made me look as if I support people I shouldn’t. I have held opinions about people in the past that were wrong and I hold my hands up and admit I’ve been wrong. I’m sure I will continue to make those mistake in future because I am human, I just hope my friends and others will call me out on that so I can see what I’ve done so I can apologise and change any harmful behaviours.
Cis ally’s guide to not being trasphobic by Zebra Rose
I cannot thank Zebra for writing this, not only is it a brilliant guide on how to stand up to transphobic behaviours it can also be used as a guide on how to be an ally for any marginalised group. It really isn’t difficult to both respect people and be respectful towards them. It’s really that easy!
Trans, Love, Fear, Celebration and Parenting by Honey
Once again Honey blew me away with her writing. She has written this from the perspective of being a parent to trans or non-binary children. There is very little I can add because this is so beautiful you just need to read it, I just wish I had a parent that was as supportive as Honey is to her children.
Now I think we need a bit of sexy after all the ranting and pain in the previous links.
I can’t pick between each of these stories by Cara Thereon, she is such an awesome writer and everyone of her stories does things to me! These particular ones are hot as hell and combine my love of filth with dark fairy tales and my love of creepy horror. In fact don’t just stop at my choices, go and read them all!
This months gorgeous images
Outtake by Exposing 40
Yup, she did it again, I couldn’t help but laugh. We all have those outtake photos but not many of us are brave enough to put them out there for everyone to see and this was just refreshing. Its a crazy time right now so being able to laugh at ourselves, or along with others is much needed!
How hot? by Focused and Filthy
Brilliant! Simple but utterly brilliant and once again gave me a bit of a giggle. In answer to her question…very!
Chicks before dicks by Molly Moore
Am I picking all the fun images because we need to smile more than ever right now? Possibly. But just look at this, its both sexy as hell (isn’t she always) as well as being cute and funny.
Eyeliner tears by Quenby
There is something so sexy about eyeliner running with tears isn’t there. Everytime I see this image I’m stopped in my tracks. And that look in their eye…unnnfff!!
