Do I have a praise kink? Well, let’s find out what praise kink is all about first and then we can see if it works for me or not.
Praise kink is essentially where the dominant partner showers their submissive partner with compliments, affirmations. Simply praising them lots. It’s not simply using affirmations during play, it’s making the praise the focus of play.
So, is it for me?
Well, I have discovered that I need affirmations from partners, it is my key love language. When I don’t see or hear those affirmations, I withdraw into myself, my brain goes to darker places and I shut down.
But, receiving it as the sole focus of play is just awkward for me. Yes I’m into humiliation play, however, because affirmations are key for me and my well-being, I need to know they are sincere when I hear them and not used as a way of making me feel uncomfortable.
If I’m being honest, it feels like it belongs to someone who likes being treated like a Princess, being the centre of someone’s world and them doing everything they can to make them feel special. And that is probably where my submission is different to those that enjoy it. If someone is putting me up on a pedestal and showering me with praise, it doesn’t make me feel submissive, it makes me feel as if I’m the higher partner in that power exchange. Whereas I need to be ‘made’ (within my limits) to submit and treated as the lower partner in the scene. Outside that scene, of course I need to be treated equally, I’m a submissive not a doormat.
I have to celebrate you, baby I have to praise you like I should Praise you ~ Fatboy Slim
That’s not to say after a scene I don’t want to be hugged and told I’ve been a good Bee or a good boy as part of my immediate aftercare, or when I’ve done something particularly difficult. I just don’t want it to be the focus, there are far more fun things to be doing after all!