Just under a week ago I witnessed some of my colleagues speaking in an incredibly homophobic manner. The words weirdos and freaks were used among others. It’s not the first time I’ve heard this kind of language from them and I’m fairly certain it won’t be the last.
I did ask them why they felt that way and the response I got back was a repeat of what I’d already heard, at this point I fell silent and walked away. I felt I couldn’t say any more because I couldn’t cope with the personal attacks that may have followed.
I ranted on Twitter how it upset me and how I’d taken it quite personally. I had some wonderful support from people, a huge thank you to those that did, but I also got some grief for not acting on the incident more.
Let me explain this a little more. I am not ‘out’ as a bisexual person in my real life. Partly this is because I’ve never had a relationship with another woman so don’t feel qualified to label myself. Partly out of fear, scared how people will react to me, family ties that would be broken, friendships that will be lost. I am in a monogamish relationship with Sir so I am invisible too. Some may argue I’ve made my decision to be straight. That is untrue. I miss and really crave being with another woman, it’s not easy to squash my feelings and pretend they don’t exist, in fact as time goes by it becomes harder.
Speaking out and putting these individuals in their place would have probably revealed I’m not just defending people who identify as LGBT+ but that I’m also part of that group. I unfortunately don’t have anyone in the work place to report this behaviour to and multiple requests for meetings with our human resource representatives are yet to be acknowledged. That aside, these comments are coming from people in management, I would be the one pushed out of the door in a time where losing my job is not a viable option.
I’m sorry that I couldn’t do more, I truly am but honestly I don’t know where to turn or how to make this prejudiced, homophobic behaviour stop.
Molly
I totally understand the impossible position you are in. To be honest I hope one day they get their comeuppance. I don’t know how but I feel in my bones it will happen to them. Maybe they will end up having to work for a gay boss, that would be perfect wouldn’t it? Their bigotry is vile and ignorant and the the thing that saddens me the most is that this kind of thing seems to be on the rise at a time when I thought we had really made huge strides in creating an inclusive society
Mollyxxx
Lurvspanking
I wish I could say that your experience with narrow minds was unique but unfortunately it happens everywhere. Every workplace I’ve been at I’ve heard over and over again the most disgusting words. You’re correct that HR rarely does anything. You can’t talk to a closed mind, you can only walk away and take the high ground. You can try to state you are uncomfortable with the situation but it’s never worked for me. Maybe the next time, you could say you have friends or relatives who are LGBT and you are offended by the characterizations.