I have been asked by a few people to share the tale, or is that tail, of the gorgeous bundle of fluff and claws that arrived in our lives two years ago.
She was a rescue cat and is very timid, almost scared of her own shadow but eventually she came out of her shell and has developed a wicked sense of humour, usually at our expense! As all cats are, she is very demanding and there is a definite hierarchy in this household, I’m at the bottom and get bossed around by both Sir and her and she is right at the very top and bosses both of us around. I did once try to wrap one of my collars around her neck and she well and truly put me in my place and made it quite clear she is not the one that wears the collar!
What follows are just a few of the moments where she has asserted her authority over us, or should I say me.
One morning as he was dressing, she was sitting on top of the chest of drawers watching what he was doing, all of a sudden her face changed, her paw dived into the sock drawer and out came the misery stick Sir keeps there. So he couldn’t resist, remembering some infringement I had made and had completely forgotten about whilst she watched with that smug expression on her face.
Sometimes he will lay all the hitty, hurty implements out on the bed in order to intimidate me. She will then jump up and inspect them and has occasionally patted one for him to use until she pats another signifying it’s time to change. Who would have thought it, he’s co-topping with the cat!
One of the more painful examples is when I was wearing my clover clamps, which are fairly painful in themselves. Sir was fucking me hard from behind, making the clamps swing with his thrusts, we were lost in our own thought when a little black paw reaches up and catches the little string on one of the clamps that you can attach weights too and then she pulls, hard, almost making me safe word! Luckily Sir realised when the moans of pleasure were replaced by screams of ‘get her off of me’! Needless to say, almost having my nipple ripped of by a playful kitty killed the moment and once I had recovered my breath and wiped the tears away we both realised how hilarious the whole situation is.
It is fairly clear she leaves her marks on me more than he does but that is true for him too. Our thighs, chests and shoulders are covered in kitty ‘love scratches’ the most extreme of which features in the image in this post. Not content with trying to pull my nipple off she attempted to rip it off instead.
There is only one thing that changes her attitude and that’s when I wear my tail. I’m not sure if it’s because the tail is the same colour as hers or whether it’s simply because she doesn’t believe I should have a tail but she has been known to stalk it, pat at it and then run away and glare at it from the other side of the room.
I’m sure these experiences will only scrape the surface of what antics she will get up but I wouldn’t swap her evil ways for the world, one little chirp, purr and roll and she melts our hearts again.
Malin James
Oh boy, I’ve got a couple of cat scars myself, though definitely not in such a sensitive place! It’s a good thing cats are so soft and cuddly outside of the pointy bits 🙂
Molly
Ha! Bloody things…. and yet, I wouldn’t be without mine
Mollyxxx
Velvet Rose
I have a 10 year old “kitten” that does exactly the same – and I bear the scars happily!
Velvet x
Oleander Plume
Yikes! *considers getting kittens declawed*
xox
Jane
Holy moly. This made me laugh and gasp in equal measure. That’s one sadistic cat! Are you sure she’s not secretly running a feline dungeon somewhere?! Jane xxx
sweetwomandirtymind
OMG, this is hilarious! You have one sick, twisted, kinky cat! She’s a sadist too.