Having someone going down on you, appears to be, what the majority of vulva owners rave about. Well not this one.
I still remember the first time someone went down on me and I still remember the disappointment I felt, I don’t know what I was expecting but I was expecting something! Since then things have improved slightly, I’d still just describe it as being nice, which is a pretty damning description when you think about it.
I’m fairly sure I’m not alone in receiving plenty of messages from men saying ‘they can lick pussy for hours and can breathe through their ears’, well good for them. My response to that is to let them know having a guy licking my pussy like a cat laps at a saucer of milk is likely to bore me, in fact on one occasion I did actually fall asleep!
Luckily for me I have a partner who is pretty good at it, ok he’s very good! In fact he’s the only one who has actually made me cum from oral alone but even he can’t manage it every time and when he does there is definitely an element of pain to it, a nibble on my labia, a nip to my clit hard to get my attention and increase the sensitivity. I do feel guilty though, when we first met he loved spending time with his face buried between my thighs but I think my lack of enthusiasm really changed that and I think his confidence took a bit of knock. It really has nothing to do with his technique, he’s really is good, it’s just that I’m not very good at receiving oral. I know it’s a bit clichéd but I much prefer to give than receive, that’s both for men and women.
If I’m being honest I can’t work out what it is that I dislike about receiving it, I’m not self conscious about it I just don’t think it gives me the stimulation I need. Normally I am all about clitoral stimulation, but when I receive oral I need to have fingers used in me too, it will only ever work for me with that combination.
I’ve been involved in conversations that claim giving oraI is a submissive act, I’m very submissive in bed but I don’t think that has anything to do with it, giving someone else pleasure isn’t a submissive act in my book, there needs to be an element of power exchange to make something submissive and oral just doesn’t tick those boxes.
I don’t let my indifference get in the way of things though, as I said earlier I don’t dislike someone going down on me so will happily enjoy it as part of play, it just don’t consider it the main event it’s now something that happens as a rare treat.
Electra-Complex
This was me for years. I’ve discovered that whilst I hate oral in some situations, I love it in others.
It’s a control thing for me. When I am topping I bloody love it. My slave can make me cum with colours and explosions in my mind’s eye. By knowing that it is all about my pleasure I can relax and enjoy it. But as a sub or even without D/s I find it almost impossible to enjoy.
Power exchange with me at the helm has made me realise that I can absolutely bloody love it.
Ashley x
Girl on the net
I agree too – it’s interesting how many of us have written this week about our indifference to oral, or why it’s a ‘sometimes’ thing rather than a key element of shagging. I think you’re spot on about the lack of enthusiasm too – I know my lack of enthusiasm has put other guys off doing it in the past, and I do wonder if I’d been more enthusiastic, perhaps I could have worked through why I didn’t like it with them, and help them get a bit better. But it’s so hard in the moment, I think particularly because we’re told that this *should* be the Holy Grail of shagging =( x
Molly
I totally get where you are coming from…. I spent years being utterly mystified as to why anyone would want a man to go down on them as it was all a bit dull. That has changed for me now but only because he has managed to play with my head while ‘playing with me cunt’ if that makes sense but like you, I would still much rather suck cock
Mollyxxx
Beck
Great photo. I’ve had more than a few women tell me that they find receiving oral just okay. You’ve done a nice job with your post articulating your experience.
Jane
Oh, my God. It’s like you’ve been inside my head/body! This is almost *identical* to how I feel about receiving oral. And I could have written these statements myself:
“I’d still just describe it as being nice”
Check.
“on one occasion I did actually fall asleep!”
Check.
“there is definitely an element of pain to it, a nibble on my labia, a nip to my clit hard to get my attention and increase the sensitivity”
Check.
“when I receive oral I need to have fingers used in me too”
Check.
“It really has nothing to do with his technique, he’s really is good, it’s just that I’m not very good at receiving oral.”
Check.
We are living parallel cunnilingus lives! 🙂
Jane
xxx
Malflic
You did a much better job articulating the views i have found fairly often than i did.