Fuck you IKEA!

Two cardboard blocks from Ikea furniture packaging crossed over

When we first moved into our house we ordered our new wardrobes from IKEA. Personally I hate the place, following the route round like sheep, not being able to get back to something you may’ve missed, the shop is hell to me but some of their products are just what we need.

When they arrived and we started to assemble them I found these cardboard blocks keeping items seperated in the box. Bored by flat pack furniture I decided to have a bit of fun and give my partner a couple of prods with them. When will I ever learn the lesson, don’t poke the bear!

I had forgotten about these bits of cardboard and had assumed they were recycled with the rest of the packaging. Of course they hadn’t, instead they were hidden away where I wouldn’t find them.

Months later, bent over our spanking bench my partner decided revenge for the pokes was a dish best served cold. He beat my arse with various evil implements and then pulled one of these out and started thwacking my arse with it. I had no idea cardboard would hurt quite so much!

I took as many blows as I could stand but instead of safewording the words that popped out of my mouth were “Fuck you IKEA!” Needless to say he stopped what he was doing and we both ended up collapsed in fits of giggles.

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