I’d like to start by saying that this has been a very hard piece to write, not due to the subject but because of what I am. That is, I am a straight, white, male. In todays society I feel more and more that I am not allowed an opinion and whatever opinion I do have does not actually count because, how would I know! It is due to this feeling that I tend to withhold opinions with fear that I would upset someone or endure the wrath of someone who could be easily offended, it’s probably because of this that I don’t really use social platforms too often.
Now with all this being said, my partner is bisexual and it upsets me seeing how much other peoples ignorance hurts her. It even surprises me how the “open minded” out there can be so judgemental on a subject when it’s not something they agree with.
People, whether they like it or not, agree that there are straight people and there are gay people unfortunately this isn’t the fact with being bisexual. I’ve heard things being said by both camps suggesting that bisexuality isn’t a thing and is just a label someone uses because they can’t make their mind up. Somehow they’re confused, or are too scared to commit one way or the other.
I will admit that I have, in the past, described Bee as greedy. I would like to add that this was not out of spite but in jest, in a way I’m jealous that she’s able to be more relaxed sexually than people who are pigeonholed as straight or gay.
Essentially I think what I’m trying to say is why can’t people just be who they want to be? I started by stating my fear of having an opinion but why should anyone be afraid of what someone will say just for being themselves. In this day and age social media has made it easy for the over opinionated to hurt people and even pushing them further into hiding than ever before. Why is it that bisexuality is still such a hurdle for people to accept?
Aurora Glory
I have to say firstly, it annoys me greatly that all men seem to be tarnished with the same brush. Regardless of gender, sexuality or anything else some people are nice and some people are shitty.
In regards to bisexuality, I really believe whatever label a person chooses for themselves is not for anyone else to judge. It’s none of their business. And I am sorry for anyone who is made to feel otherwise. I personally can’t choose a label for myself let alone thinking I have the right to comment on someone else’s.
Aurora x
Jaime
I’m also white, het and such. I’m sometimes mildly embarrassed by my complete failure to fancy men, but only in the sense that it’s a limitation, and no one should have those. But I like what I like, and I’m not going to change it.
I don’t think that you or I really have a problem with speaking up. The issue, I think, is what we say, not who we are.
So I don’t care if someone saying nasty things about bisexual people is het, exclusively gay or lesbian, asexual or bisexual with a dash of self-hate. It’s the nasty that matters, not who they are. Similarly, your piece is supportive and as far from nasty as you can get. So there’s no reason to feel bad or shy about expressing it.
No movement, or group of people, has too many allies!
KinkyKrissy
my niece is bi, most of her friends, both male & female are gay or bi as well…
she was “afraid” to tell my husband, but when she let it slip out, she was totally surprised that he had no problem with it.
“as long as you’re happy kiddo”
some of her college friends werent so accepting of her coming out.
ive had more than one “encounter” with another woman, the 3 of us are the only ones who knew for a long time, until my niece confided in me about being bi, and i confessed to her….
Molly
I just can’t understand why people are like this, how does one persons sexuality have anything to do with anyone else who is not that persons partner?
Mollyx
Jo
Of course you can have an opinion; no one is physically, legally, or otherwise stopping you! We’re lucky enough to live in countries where we can speak freely. That said, freedom of speech doesn’t mean freedom from critique. White men are used to saying whatever is on their mind without being questioned, critiqued, or challenged – which is an example of both male and white privilege. Women and POC are used to being challenged or outright disregarded for what they say ALL the time… which is why, as you say, it’s important to hear the voices of people who have traditionally been silenced (especially on topics in which they have lived experience)! I totally agree that social media amplifies anger and it’s sometimes hard to sift through all the back and forth… I tend to stay off it, too. I’m pansexual and have had a hard time feeling accepted as well sometimes, even by people who are otherwise really progressive. It’s great that you’re participating in bi visibility week as an ally!
Wriggly Kitty
I’m very much of the ‘live and let live’ opinion, as long as everyone is able to consent. I don’t understand discrimination, homophobia, bi-erasure, sexism, racism and any of those things, or anything else I’ve missed off that list.
We’re all just human beings at the end of the day, the same underneath our skin – or as one of my favourite quotes says “You’re a ghost driving a meat-coated skeleton made from stardust…”
SilverDom
Although I didn’t know the word then, I identified as bi from the age of 13. I realise now that I am pansexual – hearts not parts.
I have been accused of all those things you mentioned. Recently by someone who I though understood. :/
It is a hurdle that I don’t understand and somewhat resent.