Financial domination, also known as FinDom, is a power exchange relationship where the submissive partner gives either gifts or money to the dominant partner.
Is it a kink for me? No, not at all!
It’s actually a kink that makes me uncomfortable. If it’s your thing, great, go for it. Whilst all power exchange relationships have the potential for abuse, I feel that when money or gifts come into it, it’s even more of a risk. And potentially more so with the cost of living crisis. Those paying money have less to spend and those receiving it feel the loss even more.
Would I hand over my wages to a partner for them to control. Oh hell no! My money is my money to spend. We pay an equal amount into a joint account each month and all the bills, food, household costs and mortgage get taken from that account rather than attempting to split the bills evenly out of individual accounts. But that’s as close to giving away my wages as it comes.
I will happily buy my friends and partners gifts when I see something they’ll like. If I were crafty and creative I’d make individual gifts but I’m not and most toddlers could make something better than I can! Besides, I’d rather give any ‘extra’ money to a charity close to my heart.
I don’t want to yuck someone’s yum in any way but I am very wary of how easily power exchanges can slide into abuse. I am nobody’s paypig and likewise, I would be incredibly uncomfortable asking people for gifts myself. If people chose to do so, then that’s lovely but I could never ask for anything. I’m even rubbish at putting together a Christmas present list and I don’t have any wish lists.
So no, playing with financial domination and money is not for me.
Background photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash
The barefoot sub
Firstly, what a fabulous image!
Secondly, yes, I am with you. A friend (male, slave – not mine) and I were discussing findom last week. We’ve both seen examples where it was a kink that was enjoyed on both sides by well informed, enthusiastic and closely connected D/s couples. BUT we both agreed that the sheer volume of young fin doms name calling at will and demanding money from strangers (who aren’t involved in their kink and so have clearly not given consent) is very troubling. A model i have worked with 18 months ago was full of disdain for kink, until suddenly she was all over fetlife, twitter and OF, trying to save money for a house (not that she got anything other than money out of it, she told me independently)
Certainly not my kink, but not hers either. Which is sad, and manipulative, and really not cricket!
Floss
What a brilliant image 🤩
Molly
I think we have very similar feelings on this subject. I actually thought about writing a piece of fiction for this prompt but no matter how I play with it in my head I can’t seem to make it work and I think it is because I am uncomfortable with it and so sexualising it in any form is a struggle.
So I just wrote lots more about gifts and receiving them and giving them but realised I was writing my whole post in your comments section *laughs
Thanks for sharing this and I will share my piece soon
Molly
LVK
I agree. So many risks with it. I do understand it from some angles however but it could so easily be coercive. On the other hand I love being treated and spoiled and because of growing up poor I often equate that with presents. Only now am I learning that time (attention) is perhaps the most valuable gift I can give and receive