The following week I went back to the surgery again, this time to have an implant fitted. Surprisingly, as someone who loves needles, I was really nervous about it, even walking to the surgery in case I felt too wobbly to drive. The procedure was a lot quicker and easier than I thought it would be. A local anaesthetic came first then the implant was pushed in, I didn’t even notice it. Although, once more, I was questioned about why I was using a long term contraceptive method ‘at my age’ when I was ‘yet to have children’. I have no idea why people can’t understand having children isn’t for everyone!
I thought it would start hurting later but I was wrong, the bruising ached very little unless I accidentally caught it but surprisingly it was quite painless. Whilst I could feel it under my skin as I ran a finger over it, for the most part I couldn’t feel it. There was the odd occasion where I’d catch it against something but all in all I was back to being as happy as I was when I was using the injections.
Or at least I was until around 18 months into my three years when my periods made a return. I was more than a little disappointed, life without them is far easier. As usual they would appear randomly. My breasts, again, would get so painful clothes rubbing against them as I moved hurt. Quite often that was my clue a period would follow but that wasn’t always the case. Not only that but when I did bleed it wasn’t really blood just clots the size of a fist.
It was also during this time I was being severely bullied at work my mental health was the worst it’s ever been. I had depression, anxiety and suicidal thoughts were a common occurrence.
I was in a mess. I wanted life without contraception impacting me and yet I didn’t want to just rely on condoms for contraception. I love his spunk, in me, on me, everywhere! I just didn’t want to lose that or risk an unwanted pregnancy so I just put up with the symptoms as always.
Part four to follow