I started my periods quite late, I was around the age of thirteen or fourteen. Most of my friends already had them and I was secretly hoping they’d somehow passed me by. I was wrong.
I’d learnt about periods in junior school, the girls all taken out of the class into a different room, leaving the boys behind. Looking back I’ve always wondered what they were being taught at that time. We were told the basics, how we’d bleed a little, how we’d have to wear pads to protect clothing and how there maybe a bit of an ache.
I was not prepared for the level of discomfort I felt that day. My stomach hurt so much I thought I was dying, I had no idea what was going on until later in the day when my underwear was covered in blood. This was no ‘bleeding a little’ or ‘bit of an ache’.
Going home I told my Mum. She was kind enough to give me a few of her pads but told me I’d need to get to the chemist and buy some of my own the following day. I do remember asking her what I should get and I don’t remember much of a response just that I needed pads and not tampons because they were for people that already had sex. Looking back now my mind boggles at that statement. Was it some bizarre way of protecting my virginity?
Each month seemed to get worse and worse. I didn’t always have money for pads so I’d save those for over night and during the day I’d just pack toilet paper into my knickers and hope for the best. There was no going to the toilet during class and that often meant I’d find a pool of blood on my chair when I stood. Thankfully my school skirt was black so it didn’t show too much.
It didn’t help that I wouldn’t know when it was due. They were all over the place. I envy anyone with a 28 day cycle. I’d go a couple of months without and then bleed for a couple of weeks or I’d only have a break for a week before the next one arrived.
I put up with it for a year before seeing my doctor, he wasn’t very sympathetic and told me all women get this and I just needed to get on with it. Eventually though he offered me the pill and it changed everything for me. I’d gone from not knowing when to expect a period to knowing at 9pm on the Tuesday of my break week I’d start bleeding. Other than having to remember to take a pill everyday it was wonderful.
I was then told I had to change my pill due to health scares with the one I was on. All the routine was gone. I was back to random bleeding, passing out was usually my first warning sign my period was imminent.
In my teens and well into my twenties I was met with shrugs from doctors who always told me things would settle down once I’ve had children and as usual my disinterest in having children was met with derision.
Once I was in my mid twenties I was offered the depo-provera contraceptive injection, a progesterone only hormone injection which drastically changed my life. Yes there were side effects, I quickly put on weight and gained my tiger stripe stretch marks but those downsides were far outweighed by the benefits. After a few months of lighter and lighter periods, they stopped altogether…bliss! Not only that but the horrible mood swings and self loathing vanished too. I was able to just enjoy myself, there was no more need to take a bag of supplies with me everywhere just in case and no worrying about where I may be or who I maybe with when I inevitably fainted!
I was free to enjoy my life worry free, pain free.