I’ve spent most of life being contained. Watching what I say in fear of upsetting someone. Not being my true self because I don’t fit into the expected societal norms.
And where has that containment got me? Well nowhere really, in fact, it’s held me back and left me feeling exhausted. Exhausted because I always have to think before I speak or act, exhausted because I always have to look out for my own protection rather than just being able to enjoy myself.
Clearly we all need some kind of filtering system and we all need to take certain steps to look out for ourselves because there are and always will be arseholes in the world. But that’s not what I’m talking about. I’m talking about the freedom to fly free and just be myself.
“My true self is free. I cannot be contained.”
Marcus Aurelius
I always maintain that I’m too big and squishy to fit in a box and yet that’s exactly what I try to do to fit in with the expectations of the world around me.
This is me reminding myself that I’m good enough, that I shouldn’t be ashamed of who I am. This is me reminding myself that I should speak out against those that claim I’m too queer and should tone it down or speak up when I’m constantly misgendered. But to also remember that sometimes I can’t do it all alone, that sometimes I need to lean on others for support when I need my voice amplified or just simply to ask for a hug on a bad day.
So here I am, flying free in my own unique way. Free from the shackles of the shit that every day life can bring. Not being contained whilst standing in front of a metaphorical container!