Crying is one of those kinks I can say outright just isn’t for me or even us. I actually have another post I’ve written that is closely related to this subject, I just haven’t been ready to post it yet and when I do there will be a bit of an overlap.
I don’t like to cry, growing up I’ve always put a brave face on things and thought tears were pointless, they don’t get you anywhere and are just a sign of weakness. It took me a long time to be able to cry in front of Sir, I would even go as far as he wanted to see me cry, not because he enjoys it but he wanted me to be that comfortable around him that I could. Having said all that the past few months have been an incredibly emotional time and there seems to have been hardly a day gone by recently when I haven’t been tearful! This has just brought out Sirs nurturing side, he will just sit and hold me and try to let me cry my emotions out, he tends to feed off of my emotions so rather than turning him on he just wants to cuddle which means it never actually leads to sex.
Insofar as kink related crying, Sir has never pushed me as far as tears, although that probably has a lot to do with me freaking out if I feel I’m getting to that point. It’s definitely a barrier I want to be able to cross so I can get that emotional release I need and I really hope that when our lives become less frantic and we get some time for each other again, this is something we can work towards without any pressure. I know it’s not something Sir particularly wants, he enjoys hurting me, I see the sparkle in his eyes when he does but I also see the little flickers of concern when he pushes me to my limits.
There have been times recently when things have been getting to me where I’ve wanted to scream at him to hurt me, push me and break me down, to give me that release I so desperately crave. However he always errs on the side of caution, he doesn’t want any negative reinforcements to creep into our play, doesn’t want those negative emotions being linked in my mind with something we both enjoy. I may get a little huffy and bratty about that but deep down I respect him so much more for keeping that control, proving, yet again, he knows me better than I know myself!
Having said that this isn’t something that appeals to either of us, I think that the big puffy lips and the glossy look of teary eyes surrounded by streaked mascara is an incredibly sexy look but I think it maybe something I will just admire on others and not myself.