I’ve recently read a couple of great posts about race written by Cara Thereon, Colour me kinky and I like my porn with colour. Each one of them has made me question my thoughts and personal sexual experiences in regards to race.
I’m going to start with a little about my background and upbringing first. Then I’ll split the post in two to discuss porn and then physical sexual experiences.
My parents have, what they call, an old fashioned point of view. That’s what most of us would call having homophobic and racist views. I’ve always tried to make sure this apple fell as far from that tree as possible but I know I’m not perfect. Whilst I love my parents dearly, they can drive me insane!
I also grew up in a predominantly white area, although one of my closest school friends was born in Pakistan, not that she was ever able to come to my house after school. Then when I moved house I moved into an even whiter one, it’s the sort of place hushed whispers will circulate if you see a non-white person in the area. Lets make it clear location was my reasoning for moving not the demographics.
I am absolutely on board with what Cara said about needing more non-white people being featured in porn, especially in kinky porn. Whilst I hate the fetishisation of race in porn I do love the contrast of skin tones in images.
However, I project myself into what I’m viewing. I need to be able to imagine it’s me there in that moment. I struggle if the actress has different coloured hair to me let alone having different skin colouration. Seeing what I’ve written makes me feel like an awful person but I need to be truthful. But, being white, I’m lucky, most of the porn out there caters for my need, if fact it’s rare to stumble across non-white women in my searches and even rarer to find submissive ones.
I have never fucked or played with anyone who was non-white. Again I cringe at seeing that written down. As I mentioned previously I both grew up and lived in predominantly white areas. Also, being female I had the luxury of not needing to actively go out looking for a partner, even having an on-line profile, partners always found me. It’s just happened that none of them have been non-white.
Actually, that last bit isn’t quite true. Having an online profile meant I would get the strangest and laziest of messages, from ‘Hey’ to ‘policeman’ to ‘BBC’. I would roll my eyes at anyone that lazy and arrogant enough to think I’d respond to that. To me BBC had two meanings, the one that popped into my head first is British Broadcasting Corporation rather than Big Black Cock. Now obviously that’s not what they meant at all and on several occasions I was tempted to respond with ‘ITV’ which is a different television channel here in the UK. I always stopped myself just in case it also stood for something else!
The other real reason I struggled with the several times daily BBC messages was I don’t like fetishising groups of people. I don’t want to fuck someone who thinks the most important thing about himself is his cock, surely there is more to someone than that? It’s the same with the Black Men Fan Club events that are often advertised, I get they are fetishising themselves but, as I always say, if something doesn’t feel right, it isn’t.
As I’m in a monogamous, or at least monogamish relationship, it’s unlikely that i will ever fuck anyone that’s non-white now. It’s been years since we brought anyone else into our relationship and I’m not sure if we ever will again, which makes me sad and a whole different post!