Before the challenge
Life has recently been getting on top of me and my mental health is probably the lowest it’s been in over a decade. I’ve actually reached the point I’ve seriously considered seeing a doctor but the thought of going back on medication fills me with dread. In the past anti-depressants have left me in what I call my letterbox world, the lows may be cut out but so are the highs.
Bang on cue, the gorgeous Tabitha Rayne launched her idea of 30 days of orgasm fun. I have always used masturbation as away of reducing my anxiety and depression but recently I’ve been ignoring my needs.
In the past, when I was single, I would masturbate at least once before going to sleep then again before getting up in the morning. However, I have a long history of shame attached to masturbation and I find it difficult being watched. I tend to hide under the duvet and it’s only been a recent achievement of mine to actually masturbate whilst he is in the house but definitely not in the same room!
So being able to reach my 30 days of orgasm is going to be a challenge for me!
During the challenge
Day one – as I was working from home I had the chance of a lazy morning to myself. Yet an orgasm eluded me. It left me feeling frustrated, grumpy and added to my feelings of failure. Then later it dawned on me I was focusing on the goal and not the journey. I need to make sure I’m not focusing in the orgasm but enjoying the moment.
Day two – I’ve been out of the house for too many hours and time for my daily orgasm has vanished. Well that didn’t take too long to lose my way!
Day three – more hours in the day today so I made up for yesterday by having two glorious orgasms today.
Day…day…I’ve forgotten what day it is. Anybody know what day I started this? No? Oh well, daily orgasms shouldn’t be restricted to only 30 days.
One day a little later – yay, he helped me with my orgasm challenge. I did have to point out it was a daily orgasm challenge and not a daily masturbation challenge!
After the challenge
I managed to keep up with the daily challenge, not every day but those days I missed out I soon made up for. I’ve enjoyed reclaiming some time for me, I’ve become more comfortable masturbating with my partner in the house, even in the room next door but still not in the same room! I plan to keep doing now the 30 days are up, maybe not everyday because some days there is far too little time.
I’ve learn lots about myself but as the month wore on and my stress levels built I found it harder to orgasm, my mind kept flicking between fantasies so everything was disjointed. The sleepless nights were taking their toll, the tears were almost constant. Sadly orgasms weren’t enough to control my newly found anxiety. I needed proper help to reset the brain, there have been times I just haven’t been able to cope with anything, which I find incredibly difficult to admit to as I’m usually a positive thinker.
So off to the doctors I went and that is where things changed drastically for me.