I can’t dance

I have two left feet, trying to dance just highlights how I’m awkward and clumsy I am, so dancing and me don’t go together too well. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve tried, I really have but I lack the co-ordination needed to make a dancer.

I took up salsa dancing once, going along to lessons with a friend. I ending up feeling like a right fool though, I couldn’t string the moves together and quite often I could only get half way through the turns before my momentum stopped. Whilst it was enjoyable it was also frustrating so the pair of us often used to end up in the pub having a natter instead.

Later on I took up pole dancing. Well I say dancing but it was more like pole falling. It was lots of fun even if it hurt like hell. It made me discover I don’t stick to the pole like most people do, I just slide straight off. I’m sure it was entertaining to watch and I did gain a lot of strength so I won’t class it as a complete failure.

Giving up on the dance classes I thought I would try and entertain my partner by giving him a lap dance. I dressed up in sexy underwear and stockings, selected a track I knew we both loved and started swaying to the music. Well, we both ended up in fits of giggles!

There we have it, Salsa, pole and a sexy lap dance/strip tease. All are supposed to be sexy and I succeeded in making all of them unsexy!

I do have one more type of dance I would love to try and so far it’s never happened for me. I would love to slow dance with my partner. We’ve been to weddings and other events but he doesn’t like to dance at all. It looks like such a wonderful thing to experience, the closeness, the togetherness but it is something I will probably never get to experience.