E could be for ‘End of an era’ or maybe it should be for ‘Ending in tears’. Either way last weekend was a fairly unhappy discovery.
My kink journey started with my love of being tied down, unable to wriggle or move and being fucked hard and fast, being used as an object of pleasure.
Sadly a slipped disc in my neck and shoulder injury has made it difficult for us to enjoy rope play. Pins and needles and loss of feeling in my fingers have meant I’ve been worried about further damage from a rope tie.
Last weekend my partner asked what sort of play I’d like. I asked to be tied hard again, I’ve missed it so much so he agreed but as long as the ropes are connected to cuffs which seemed a fair compromise.
He pushed and pulled me into position, securing me so I couldn’t move. He asked how I felt and I said fine, I wasn’t, the pain was already taking over. I could hear him taking photos and I kept my tongue bitten, I wanted this…I needed this. When he finished and put the camera down it all became too much, I said I couldn’t bear it any longer and he released me instantly.
I collapsed onto the bed and cried tears of pain, once they eased the sobs of sheer frustration shook my body. The realisation I may never be able to do the thing that started me on this road of discovery. He held me in his arms for what felt like hours until I was all cried out.
I am off to see a surgeon in a couple of months but no matter what happens I don’t think I’ll ever be the same again. For me rope and being tied will have to be more flexible, it saddens me to say but I think last weekend marked the end of an era.