Despair

24.07.2020

by sub-Bee

Sinful Sunday

Bee laying on the floor curled up depicting despair and self-doubt

I always endeavour to be a positive person but there are times that isn’t the reality. This blog is a reflection of me therefore along with the positivity I also need to show the darker times.

There are some big changes happening in my life right now, some are positive but none of them come without any negative consequences. Within the next few months I have big changes occurring at work. I am looking forward to new challenges and meeting new people but saying goodbye to others fills me with a great deal of sadness.

At home our relationship is also evolving and not all of those changes are positive, we are both under a huge amount of pressure and neither of us have been able to pour as much time and energy into each other as we should do. That in turn triggers feelings of guilt and inadequacy which creates a cycle that needs to be broken.

Sadly I can’t ignore the changes that are happening across the UK right now. I really don’t want to dwell on them too much but we are entering a time of uncertainty.

All these changes occurring in such a short space of time is leaving me with feelings of fear, isolation and despair.

Written by sub-Bee

Kinky submissive who loves to share their naughty side here at atosubbee.com Pronouns: They/Them

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11 thoughts on “Despair”

  1. This is such a powerful and amazing photograph. I’m sorry you are having tough times at the moment and I hope you come through it soon. Xx

  2. That image – so poignant – it epitomizes the feelings you describe so well.

    I understand what you mean about needing to write about ALL aspects of yourself, even the despairing parts. Those feelings and events ARE part of your experience, as much as the happy ones, though I, too, struggle with exposing myself that way as well.

    I hope that life settles down for you quickly, and that you are able to find equilibrium again.

  3. I’m so sorry about some of these changes, and I think that your body posture expressed this perfectly in the photo.

  4. Hope Always

    Negative feelings are just as real and valid as the positive ones. Its what makes us a whole balanced person….even if the scales are tipped more one way or the other at times.

    Being able to recognise, express and share those feelings with us is what makes you the lovely wonderful person I know you to be.

    Hugs my brave friend,

  5. No changes happen without some cost. I wish I could lend you some strength, resilience and just give you space to breathe without fear.

  6. Big hugs my lovely friend. Hang on in there and know that you have many people in your life who care about you a great deal

    Mollyxxx

  7. It is always difficult to go through periods such as those that you have described and they seem to go on forever, but time moves along and when a future state settles they become a memory.

    Wishing you all of the best and that positive resolutions come about. xx

  8. Jo

    The sad and angry and fearful and desperate parts of us should never be ignored; these are the feelings that drive change in our lives. They’re difficult to share with others, though, so thank you for sharing; in doing so, you let others know that they are not alone in their similar feelings. It’s a gorgeous photograph. May you come out of the other side of your transitions feeling energized, loved, and whole. x

  9. I am sorry to hear of your losses. I hope you find peace amongst the turmoil.

  10. No doubt change is hard and work pressures all too often take a toll on relationships. Hope that all settles down quickly and well for you.

  11. I do think that time can be such a great healer . . . and that, very often, just has a way of working out to the best result in the end.
    I do hope this will be the case for your own situation!
    Big kisses – Xxx – K

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